As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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