He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
