did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
