He asked me if I "almost moaned"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
