I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
