i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
