Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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