Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
