I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
