After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
