All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
