I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
