Are we in a gay sports bar?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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