What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
