is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize