ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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