Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
