I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
it's like heaven, but drunker
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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