I just pynch a tree in the face
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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