2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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