the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
