i was born a porn star she said
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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