I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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