I am puke
so explain again why im purple
no
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
