HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Someone signed my nipple.
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