Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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