TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
