You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
