Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
