The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
