I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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