So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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