that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
