yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
please don't ironically join a cult
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