did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
