East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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