Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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