you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize