i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
