She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
