My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
