Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
