I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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