The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
