Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Randomize
