I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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