things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize