eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
