Just fell off a train. Bad.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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