i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
