i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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