don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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