just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize