3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
