I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
