Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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