Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
