she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
