I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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