just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
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