He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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