i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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