that's an acceptable place to lick
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
