i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
That reminds me...we need to get swords
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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