genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
