I can't watch pbs sober anymore
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize