my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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