I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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