I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Is Oprah even human
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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