I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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