I'm so fucking centered right now
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
