Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
