The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
