it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize