Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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