ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
