Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
