The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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